![]() ![]() ![]() “By this point, they’re curious about bodies, and may play ‘doctor’ to find out about differences,” says Wershler.Įxpert opinion differs on what self-pleasuring means for kids as they develop. Laura Wershler, executive director of Sexual Health Access Alberta, an organization that connects people of all ages with sexual health information, education and services, says some children find rubbing their genitals to be comforting, the same way sucking a thumb or holding onto an old blanket is for others.Īnd from about three to six years of age, children often start to explore their bodies with same- and opposite-sex peers. “Just like children will explore what is hidden away in the kitchen cupboards,” says Gary Direnfeld, a social worker and child development expert in Dundas, Ont., “they will also explore what has been hidden away beneath the diaper.” “It’s just reflexes at this stage,” she says.Īs babies become toddlers and gain more hand coordination (and particularly when they’re being potty trained), many develop a fascination with their genitals. Joy Becker, a nurse and regional educational consultant with the Options for Sexual Health program in Nanaimo, BC, cautions these are not signs of sexual arousal. “We’re hard-wired before we’re born in terms of genital-brain connections,” she says.īetween infancy and age three, boys start to have erections and girls start to lubricate. “Masturbation is an emotionally loaded term for people,” says Toronto author and sex educator Kim Martyn.“I prefer to say self-exploration or self-pleasuring.” Whatever term you use, Martyn explains that it begins really early for many kids. So I decided to go to the experts for advice. But I’m not sure what would be helpful to say or do in the situation. I know not to say things like “Stop it!” or “That’s bad!” which could make them feel ashamed of their bodies. This can’t be what my daughters are doing…or is it? And if it is, is it so bad? I know my reaction to their behaviour can have long-term consequences on their self-esteem. One told me, “My son plays with his woo-hoo every night before bed.” Another came right out and said it: “My child masturbates.” I asked other moms if this behaviour was normal. “I’m either raising a Broadway star or a stripper!” I once exclaimed to a friend. And when my other daughter was three years old, she frequently danced naked, running her fingers up and down her torso and in between her, well, you know. My youngest, for instance, likes to splay her legs over the sides of the bathtub and caress her, well, you know. Of all the surprises that came with being a mom, this was the biggest: having to deal with my daughters touching their private parts. ![]()
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